Everyone said my sister, Elara, was made of light. She was the valedictorian, the Sunday school teacher, the one who volunteered at the animal shelter. In our family’s constellation, she was the sun, and I was a small, forgettable moon, content to orbit her warmth.

Watching a sibling struggle with self-destructive behavior is incredibly difficult, but you can support them without losing yourself in the process. Experts from the Child Mind Institute

The turning point came on a Tuesday. It was 3:17 AM. My phone buzzed. It was a number I didn’t recognize. I almost silenced it. But something—call it intuition, call it the root system—made me answer.

I was the one who, a year earlier, had handed her the keys to my friend’s abandoned car so she could “drive to clear her head.” I was the one who deleted the principal’s email about her slipping grades. When she started seeing him —the dropout with the spiderweb tattoo on his throat—I didn’t warn her. I watched her walk into his truck one night, and I felt a cold, quiet thrill.

: This Washington Post article explores the regret of not having "honest, uncomfortable conversations" sooner. It describes the physical and emotional toll of late-stage addiction and the "wet work" of caring for a dying sibling.

If you're looking for resources to help your sister, consider linking her to professional services or support groups. This could include: